I’ve been thinking of creating a Cops-like documentary or TV show here, where I would follow one of the police officers around for a whole night. It would look something like this:

Cop stands on the corner with several other cop friends. They huddle around and discuss major issues, like what they did last night, while they sip on a plastic cup half full of black coffee (when I say, black, I don’t mean dark brown, I mean BLACK).

Cop walks to the end of the block, looks both ways, then walks back.

Cop climbs up to small Communist-era guard post and looks out over the street. Cop #2 is also up in the guard post, pushing buttons that control the red/green lights. For fun, they leave all the lights red for a while, then turn them all green. Cop climbs down from said post, walks block again.


Cop asks poor, innocent, Americans for something (this is where we will make our film debut).
But as he is asking in Bulgarian, the cute American couple (oh yeah, we are cute!) nod and smile and laugh, explaining to him that they don’t understand a word he is saying. He continues to ask. They smile and nod. He stops talking. They smile and nod. Finally they continue on their way.

“Was he asking for an American sticker*?” the brilliant blonde girl asks her husband (oh yeah, she IS brilliant!).
“Sounded like it”, he responds.
“Hmmm…what could that mean? An American sticker? I mean, I think it’s pretty clear I wear mine tattooed on my forehead, since not a single person here actually thinks we are Bulgarian”, she replies.

Cop continues walking to the other end of the block, looks both ways, returns to his post.

Cop lights cigarette and smokes it.

Cop meets with two other cops to get a half full plastic cup of black coffee.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

You get the idea. I think it could be a hit show—what do you think?

*Turns out American sticker is an ID card, like a passport or driver’s license. Good that the cute American couple just ignored that request and walked on….Apparently, if you don’t understand, you can’t be harassed.